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My life can easily be compared to a Control Flow Graph. Ebbs, flows and the need for external artificial injections. These artificial injections come in the form of entertainment, food, political commentary and anything else that crosses the mind from time to time. No matter the ebbs and flows there are some genuine components of my life which act as grounding rods. This includes my family and friends and that is what has led me to today’s post.

My circle of friends, whom you have heard about in previous posts, is tight. I love them to bits and feel as though I live my life and large parts of theirs. Today I got up and I felt a sadness and it is a sadness with a bit of soul searching. Once again I am looking for that spiritual awakening, that feeling of belief in something so deep, comfort in an idea/concept that will serve to anchor me through any storm. But I digress. So I got up and I felt somewhat sad because my friend Maya is on my mind and I am sad because I am thousands of miles away while she soldiers through a difficult time in her life. According to Google we are actually 10454 miles apart.

I shed a few tears and then I thought, “Natalie why are you crying?” Maya will be fine. She has the strength of a believer, she has put her trust in God and is resolute that he is the captain of her ship. I felt a little better when I remembered this but it made me pause for a minute because Maya stands as an example of someone with faith. This faith that was built over years and which is now the glue holding everything together.

I asked myself how does one get to that point if one does not truly believe? Can you make yourself believe or will life just bring it your way one day? Should I go hunting for my own spiritual awakening?

As part of her journey, Maya is now sharing her story at http://www.pinkbowdiaries.wordpress.com. Check her out.

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One thought on “My Life as a Control Flow Graph

  1. Natalie, this touches my heart in so many ways. Thank you! It’s this kind of connection we share that makes you one of my very best friends. Your honesty and desire to find spiritual awakening is commendable and I support you in this quest. Without that spiritual foundation we are empty shells in this existence with nothing to look forward to when we’ve passed through this earth. Faith is a practice and I encourage you to find moments in each day to really be still, read the bible, reflect on its words and DO YOUR WORK. This is your calling, yield to it. Love you my sister.

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